My Masochistic Muse

My apologies for all the unanswered texts, voicemails, msgs and posts yesterday. I didn't know you could have a headache that bad and not drop dead. Coupled with emptying my stomach every few hours - (fun fact- oatmeal looks pretty much the same coming up as it does going in -tmi, sorry, might be a while before I can eat that again.) - fair to say I was incapacitated. I had to cancel my gig and spent the night wishing someone would knock me unconscious.

I'm not telling you this for sympathy, I'm telling you this because when the masochist who had control of the pain receptors in my brain finally vacated, I was left with the lyrics to a new song- in completion! It seems my muse has taken to more aggressive tactics to get my attention. I hope I can say it was worth it. Maybe if I release this song and its the one that finally gets me off this career plateau I've been on for (I'm not telling you how many) years - I'll look back and say it was. In any case, suffering for your art makes for a good story. But seriously, no expectations. I was just psyched to receive this gift from the masochist muse. I don't know yet if its any good...we'll have to follow it down the rabbit hole and see what emerges.

I found it kind of ironic because I recently started another blog post about stepping outside of my comfort zone to challenge myself and my creativity. I'm not sure that is exactly what I meant, but it was a good reminder that staying happy and cozy by the fire does not beget creativity. I've been listening to a lot of podcasts about the science of creativity and how the most creative people are actually the most disciplined. Inspiration isn't something that just taps you on the shoulder while you are busy attending to the rest of your life. The most creative people show up every day to do the work. Whether it's writing, playing, thinking etc. Most days its crap, but when the muse decides to show up, they are there and ready to receive it. I guess I'm choosing to believe that the masochist that is my muse was trying to send me a message. Do the work, be ready for the next visit - maybe it won't hurt quite so much.

So there you go....If you need me, I'll be doing the work...

xo

Jenn